Impressions of living in Korea: Or some might call me... Gimli...

While walking home from the grocery store I came across a man in his late fifties or early sixties. When he saw me be began speaking rather loudly (read as nearly shouting) in Korean. The closer I came to him, the more animate he became. I did what any sane person in my situation would do... I kept walking and pretended that I didn't see him. When it became obvious to him that I didn't understand a word he was saying he switched to English. "Very tall," he would say while pointing at me. All I could do was keep walking and nod at him everytime he said it. As this was happening I couldn't help but remember a famous line from the Wizard of Oz... "We're not in Kansas anymore Toto..."

The next day I found out that there would be a "Grand Meeting" that evening and that my presense was not only requested, but required. My first inclination was to be annoyed, but upon finding out that dinner would be provided that switched to excited as it would give me an actual chance to meet the people I'd spend most of the next year working with. Now, some of you may know that I've been training at a different school than the one I'll actually be working at at and if you didn't before you do now. Fortunately or unfortuantely as the case may be, we arrived to late for the actual business portion of hte meeting and headed straight to dinner. I'd had the opportunity, albeit brief to be introduced to my fellow teachers when I went for my health check, but only really was able to catch their names. When I walk in the restraunt, I'm greated with "Hey, Gimli is here!" At first, I don't catch on that they're referring to me... I mean why would I think that a dwarf's name from the Lord of the Rings is being used in reference to me...

It turns out that before they'd set eyes on me it was decided to nickname me Gimli. In a word Awesome.

After dinner we slipped across the street to a Norebang, which is a kareokee bar. This place was sweet. I'm talking private room, lazers mirrored walls... I expected Snoop to walk in at any second. I'm not much of one for singing, but this place had so much atmosphere that I couldn't help myself. Also, how much fun is it to watch people that just met each other do a coreographed dance routine to a song in Korean? Answer: too much! The entire evening I was referred to as Gimli. Even today at work I heard one of the teachers tell a student that Gimli was not a jungle gym. Good times had by all.

Next time, I explain where I am and why I'm doing this, discuss how it feels to be stared at like a three dollar bill and talk about the classes I'll be teaching.

How not to sleep on an international flight for beginners.

So if you've ever found yourself faced with an international flight to destinations new and exciting that is so far ahead or behind you in terms of time zones that the forthcoming jet lag feels like the prospect of having your prostate examined, here are a few helpful tips as to how you can adjust to the time zone before your flight. I'll also give you a few tips for not sleeping on the flight to ensure that you hit the ground running or ready to sleep as the case may be.

Step 1. Before you leave, stay up as late as possible. In fact, if you can swing it don't sleep at all! Insomnia helped me a lot with this step.
Step 2. The night before you leave decide to head out with your cousin, who we shall for the sake of argument name Cody for a beer. While out lose track of the number of drinks you actually have and end up in a state that a sailor would recomend in a new port city.
Step 3. I can't stress this step enough. Wake up still feeling like the aforementioned sailor. Take a shower, being very careful not to die in the process.
Step 4. Get a coffee and chase it an hour or so later with a Five Hour Energy.
Step 5. Ignore any tremors that you notice in your hands from the ammount of caffine that is now surging in your blood stream.
Step 6. Embrace the heart burn. That's right. Focus on the unending burn that your idiocy, I mean well thought out and executed strategy, has created.
Step 7. Sit in front of someone that looks like they could have been a stand-in for Jabba the Hut during the filming of Star Wars. Listen closely as they consume nearly as many alcholic beverages as you did the night before your flight.
Step 8. Be glad that you have no idea where your ear plugs are, as what you can only assume to be snoring since the FFA and TSA don't allow chainsaws onto planes after that entire 9/11 thing.
Step 9. Now that your humanity has slowly returned to you and you are about to land at your destination, drink your remaining Five Hour Energy.
Step 10. Arrive at your destination and wait ninty minutes outside in sub-freezing temperatures for a bus.

Follow these easy ten steps and I promise you by the time you actually see a bed you'll be asleep the instant your head hits what passes for a pillow. You'll awake at a decent hour feeling like you ran through a corn field naked and possible backwards, but you'll know for certain that today can't be worse than yesterday!